How To Save A Relationship - Your First 3 Steps

Your first steps to save your relationship must be directed to working towards your partner rather than against him/her.  While this sounds elementary, understand that up until now you have been moving away from one another - seeking comfort from the pain, no matter how fleeting. 

Reaching out means showing your partner, through your actions, that the two of you together can work past that pain.  For your part, you must demonstrate that you harbor love and safety, not conflict and uncertainty.

In order to save a relationship, you must genuinely strive for the type of relationship that compliments your personal needs, your partner's needs, and your common desires.  The key is - all must be communicated clearly.  Herein lies your challenge.

Here are your first 3 steps ...

Maintain your dignity

Your dignity is a window to your soul.

Dignity is the opposite of desperation.  With your dignity intact you assume the power to inspire yourself as well as those around you.

Your dignity inspires respect.  It enables you to maintain respect for yourself while it encourages your partner to begin to respect you once again.  Dignity is a reflection of your strength, not your weakness.  If you are to save your relationship, you partner must see you as strong, that you represent love and safety, and that you are trustworthy, not desperate.

With dignity you can accept that your life will go one, even if your best efforts are unsuccessful.  Regardless of whether or not you can save your relationship, you alone will decide to make your life right.  No one else can do it for you. 

Strength not weakness

Desperation is a sign of weakness.  Patience is an affirmation of strength.  Patience combined with strategy is the key to your success.  Desperation is trying to convince your love that you are the love of their life.  Strength is discovering the meaning to bringing you back together, to save your relationship, to avoid an ultimate relationship breakup, and to make it work forever.

One step at a time

The worst thing you can do to attempt to save a relationship is to act impulsively.  Be patient.  In order to meet your objectives, you must begin by convincing your partner to listen to you.  This might well take some time. 

Think carefully about what you must say to your partner.  You must be honest and sincere.  Understand that you must give your partner a reason to listen to you.  Your chances are far greater by expressing empathy and understanding, and when you can honestly acknowledge your partner's needs and concerns.

If your initial efforts fail, do not give up.  If you are rebuffed, respond with genuine humility.  Express your understanding as to why your partner might be reluctant, and suggest that you would like to share your constructive ideas with him/her when he/she is ready.  Above all - do not submit to hostility.  Hostility is the enemy of reconciliation, and will almost certainly serve to destroy your efforts to save your relationship.

For even more relationship help, including specific action plans, check out Kellys Bowman's blockbuster book ...

Getting Back Together - How To Help A Relationship That Is Worth Saving