Embrace The 12 Vital Principles That Will Renew Your Love Relationship

Overwhelmed by life's every day challenges?  Feel like you are losing control of your priorities? Is the magic of your love relationship slipping away?

Welcome to the 21st century.  You are not alone!

Step back, take a deep breath, and begin your transformation.  Immerse yourself in the comfort of these 12 Vital Love Relationship Principles, and experience the pure joy of renewing your love.

Patience 
Our first life principle is undoubtedly the most difficult, yet it must represent our starting point.  Think of your relationship as a fine wine.  It takes time.  As it ages it becomes increasingly spectacular.  Time delivers its true character, its undeniable flavor, and its uncompromised value.  And yet, if we seek to capture the majesty of the wine before its prime, we are certain to face disappointment. 

Our meaningful relationships are more fragile than a fine wine.  More fragile in the sense that if we push that love relationship before its time we are certain to suffer more than disappointment.  Far more devastating than disappointment, we are certain to face regret.

Patience in a relationship means nurturing and developing a bond so strong that it challenges the test of time, and becomes increasingly spectacular.  Patience means patience in one's self, patience in one's partner, and the patience to understand both.

Trust
Is the strongest opponent of insecurity.  Left unchecked, insecurity breeds suspicion and anxiety and fear.  A love relationship cannot survive on a foundation of distrust.  Insecurity is eliminated by a love of one's self and  a respect of one's self.  We must appreciate that we are entitled to happiness and security. 

Only through trust, through love of ourselves and devotion to a loving partner, can we quash the evils of insecurity.  There is no pain more intense than the pain of looking back, knowing that the fears that destroyed the relationship were unfounded.

Personal Responsibility
Respect for, and love of one's self is founded on personal responsibility.  Simply put, personal responsibility means taking the accountability for you own needs and feelings. 

We cannot rely solely on others, even our partner, as our source of happiness and security.  We must assume responsibility for our own actions and interests.  Assuming responsibility means learning to love one's self, to care for one's self, and to cease blaming a partner for one's own unhappiness.

We must take an active control in our own self interests, understanding that the happiness and the security that we desire come from within.  Our own thoughts and our own actions must be based on kindness towards  and acceptance of ourselves.  Acceptance means discarding negative self judgments and negative self talk and opening our heart to the love we deserve.  Once we believe that we are deserving of that love, we will find it.

Respect Your Partner
Respect your partner both physically and emotionally.

Physically means taking the time to look your best, to take care of yourself and to appreciate that your partner will do the same for you.

Emotionally means understanding and appreciating what is important to your partner.  Place value on his or her interests.  Participate in those interests or encourage him to take time to enjoy them himself.  By respecting and cooperating, you are building a framework for more quality time to spend together.  When your partner does not feel deprived of his own interests, he is far more likely to share  that which is important to you. 

Sharing and participating in each other's interests is the very foundation of mutual respect.  Mutual respect is about actively making efforts for each other and building a foundation of compromise. 

The Power of Friendship
Love your partner for who they are – your best friend.  Friendship is about passion and respect, caring and concern.  Even in the roughest  of times, your friendship will carry you through. 

Flourish in an Environment of Compassion and Kindness
A relationship is a relationship lost when acts of kindness are replaced with anger, blame, or guilt.  Where love exists, kindness will bring kindness in return. 

Take the time to feel compassion for your partner.  Resist the inclination to withdraw.  Harness the power of kindness and your love relationship will prosper.

Share the Responsibility – Stop the Blame
While personal responsibility must guide one's own choices and attitudes, a complete love relationship is the responsibility of both partners.  In tough times, successful couples must work together to solve the problems.  Blaming one's partner for all of those the problems is a sure fire way to eliminate any hope for solutions.

Resist the need to be "right" and focus on the need to share responsibility and accountability.

Recognize Your Partner's Emotional Signals
Loving someone means understanding and respecting how they express their feelings, no matter how subtle.  Often the most important signals are those that are not spoken.  Looking away, closing the eyes, a gentle touch.  Recognize your partner's  emotional signals and respond in kind.  Sometimes this is as easy as holding a hand, or rubbing a neck.

Compromise and Balance
No one, no matter how close, will agree on everything.  In fact, expecting complete agreement in any relationship is a recipe for failure,  What is important is finding balance, or give and take.  This means respecting your partner's needs and beliefs and, at the same time, accepting that your partner will do likewise. 
Balance is built on compromise, a willingness on the part of both parties to cooperate, to concede, and to look to the future.

Tolerance vs. Control
In troubled times we have choices.  We can discover patience and open-mindedness or we can seek to "win" with controlling behaviors.

When we choose to control, we resort to activities such as resistance, blame, withdrawal, or denial.  Unfortunately these actions serve only to add more conflict to an already tense environment.

A fulfilling long term love relationship is based not on control but on tolerance.  Tolerance means a commitment to your partner and to yourself to discover the core sources of a conflict.  When we identify that which drives the conflict we can work towards a solution.

Too frequently conflict is built on fear – fear of losing a partner or fear of losing one's own identity.  Only by being tolerant and respectful of our partner's motivations, can we release the fears that would ruin our relationship.

The key is to face the conflict.  When we are tolerant of our partner and of ourselves, we are free to honestly express our fears, our motivations, and our needs.  When we are free to face the conflict, we are also free from the fear of rejection, humiliation, or retaliation.

Appreciation vs. Criticism
In a healthy love relationship, we are grateful for our partner.  In times of stress or conflict, we must not lose sight of this.  Despite the problems that we face, are we not better off with him than without him?

Take the time to step back and appreciate what you have, understanding what it would mean to you to lose your partner.

Criticism can quickly become toxic, creating tension and doubt.  On the other hand, appreciation is positive and affirmative.  And what could be more affirmative than a fulfilling relationship!

Communication
Perhaps the best is saved for last.  There is nothing more vital to the strength of a relationship than the ability to communicate.

Communication is an embodiment of all other principles.  It means staying involved with your partner, respecting your partner, and sharing the love relationship.

Sharing a love relationship means we are safe and secure, and free to express our fears, our anxieties, and our love. 

When we communicate we relate to each other, we set ground rules, we listen, we respect one another.  We understand the emotional signals, and we use those signals to soothe, to ease the pain, to bond.  We face our fears together.  We forgive.

Communication means we understand that some problems are bigger than both of us. We cannot force issues, nor can we withdraw from our responsibilities.  What we can do is work as a team, moving forward together to face all odds, and suddenly the problem is not as overwhelming as before.