Relationship Problems – 7 Warning Signs

Everyone faces relationship problems.  The key, of course, is to work with your partner to find a common solution to those problems.  But when a solution seems out of reach, it may be time to re-examine your troubled relationship.  Could it be your relationship has evolved into an unhealthy relationship?  And if so, what can you do?

First, let's take a look at 7 warning signs that can signal unhealthy relationships.

1. Lack of Commitment

Commitment is about spending time with one another – and enjoying it.  A lack of commitment begins when couples do not make time for one another.  This includes not only eliminating the time to have some fun, but also the time to communicate with each other, to share each other's frustrations, and to join together to heal potential relationship problems.  When the enthusiasm to support one another - to be with one another – disappears, the relationship is clearly developing into an unhealthy relationship.

2. Lingering Resentment

Relationship problems usually stem from past disagreements that should have been forgiven.  Resentment closes the door on forgiveness and opens the door on regret.  Eventually resentment can become so overpowering that it controls the relationship, invading all communication, and intensifying anger and hostility.

3. Bitterness

Bitterness takes over when mutual respect dies.  The bitterness of an unhealthy relationship overtakes genuine affection replacing it with mutual hostility. Eventually bitterness thrives exclusively on name calling, accusation, and aggression. 

4. Secrets

A relationship based on secrets and deception is doomed to fail.  Secrets are the opposite of truth.  Lies become more complex with time, eventually destroying the relationship.

5. A Need to Control

Control can take on many forms. 

A partner who is obsessed with winning all arguments at the expense of the relationship is controlling.  Likewise, a partner who pressures the other to avoid all other friendships and contacts is exerting social pressure.  Some partners focus all energies on the other partner.  Others control by trying to change their partner to suit their own liking.  The end results are the same, the creation of an unhealthy relationship stripping away the dignity to express genuine feeling and emotion.

6. Seeking Identification Exclusively Through the Relationship

A relationship is only as strong as the individuality of each partner.  We must recognize our own strengths and weaknesses, sharing each to the benefit of the other.  A lasting relationship requires that we must survive both individually and together.  To seek all strength from a partner places an insurmountable burden on a healthy relationship and sets the stage for relationship problems.

7. Insecurity

Insecurity is a symptom of a lack of trust – trust in one's self and trust in a partner.  In a relationship void of trust, a couple is left with nothing more than insecurity, doubt, and fear. 

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